


Oikakete hakanaku kieta yume ni (The fleeting dreams I was chasing have disappeared)

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Altered Mental States, Angst, Cruelty, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Rape, Sex Toys, Voyeurism, Wax Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 00:50:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15961172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: He felt no mercy for the last look Yuya had thrown him, for the pain in those eyes.He only remembered that when they had parted he had kissed his lips, and Yuya hadn’t fought it.





	Oikakete hakanaku kieta yume ni (The fleeting dreams I was chasing have disappeared)

 

_You weren’t expecting it, were you Yuya?_

_You didn’t think about the consequences, you didn’t think about what was going to happen._

_You didn’t think with your mind, just with your desire._

_You’ve gotten screwed like a kid._

_You’ll always be an idiot, Yuya. You can almost hear Hikaru’s voice saying that to you, without that hint of hilarity you’re used to._

_But there’s no one saying that to you, not this time._

_So all you can do is say it to yourself._

~

 

It was cold that night.

Even within those four walls, Yuya shivered.

Hikaru kept telling him it wasn’t the coldness, that he was just afraid, and that he shouldn’t be.

And he listened to him, trying to put his thoughts in pause, to erase the anxiety from his mind, but he just couldn’t.

What was he doing there?

Oh, he knew the answer to the question, all too well.

It had been too long now.

Too much time during which he hadn’t dared asking, time during which his own desire had devoured him from inside, had destroyed him, leaving him with the raw want to do something to satisfy himself.

And there had come Hikaru.

Who had talked to him, who had told him he shouldn’t have waited for something which might’ve also never come.

The obviousness in his voice had made him feel stupid once again.

Then, though, he had gathered up his courage.

He had told Hikaru that he was right, that he wanted to do something, and the younger had been all too happy to help him.

So now he was there, in that house too cold or too scary, he still hadn’t decided which one it was.

There were two of them, why in the world did they have to cut the power?

But he didn’t dare asking Yaotome. It was probably obvious, he just couldn’t get it.

He looked at the bag Hikaru had brought, curious.

Then he glimpsed at the clock.

They still had some time, it wasn’t necessary to keep quiet.

Hikaru wasn’t going to get mad at him for talking.

“What’s inside, Hikka?” he asked, murmuring.

The younger raised his eyes on him, smiling deviously.

“Nothing special. Just something that might prove useful tonight.” he told him, mysterious, then he sat up on the couch, his eyes fixated on the entrance.

Waiting.

Yuya didn’t understand.

He didn’t know what they might need that night, but he wasn’t going to ask for further explanations.

They didn’t have time, anyway. It was almost nine, and he knew it was about time.

He couldn’t wait.

Keeping still on that couch, only the light from the street in the room, terrified him.

He got closer to Hikaru, trying to be nonchalant, and breathed in deeply.

He heard the other’s tongue click a couple of times, and he was about to ask him if he was nervous as well, when he finally heard it.

The lock clicking.

The door slamming.

Hikaru pulled Yuya up, pushing him toward the entrance.

The elder closed his eyes briefly, then he took a deep breath and walked toward Chinen.

“Hi, Chii. Welcome back.” he told him with a smile. Pointless, he thought, since he doubted he could see it in the darkness of the room.

“Yuya? What are you doing here? And why aren't these damn lights working?” the younger asked, turning on and off the main switch.

Takaki was about to panic, while his brain tried to quickly elaborate an excuse.

But there was no need for it.

He heard light steps behind him, and a moment later Hikaru was next to him.

“Welcome back home, Yuri.” he told him, sugared.

Chinen didn’t have time to get surprised, nor he saw the heavy glass ashtray swinging toward his head.

Yuya groaned.

It was going to be a very long night, for him as well.

 

~

 

_Did he really think it was so easy?_

_Did he really think you would’ve forgotten, as if nothing had happened?_

_The terrified look on his face almost makes you feel sorry, but you can’t afford sorrow, not for him._

_Does he understand what he’s done to you? Does he understand how hurt, betrayed, filthy you’ve felt?_

_It doesn’t matter, not this time._

_You don’t want him to understand._

_You just want him to feel as much pain as you’ve felt._

~

 

When he came back to his senses, it took Chinen a few moments to recall what had happened.

And when he did, he cursed.

What the hell did the two of them have in mind?

He felt a sharp pain to his head and made as to bring a hand to the wound, when he realized he couldn’t move.

He pulled his arms and felt the constriction get tighter around his wrists.

Rope.

Again, he cursed.

They had brought him to the bedroom, tied him to the headboard.

It took him a short while longer to realize he didn’t have his clothes on anymore.

And a while more to see the feeble light of a couple of candles around the room.

He heard two different breaths next to him, and even though in his heart he didn’t want to turn around, he forced himself to.

Yuya was standing, leaning against the wall, intent into furiously biting his fingernails.

Hikaru sat next to him, his arms crossed and his eyes fixated on him.

Yuri shivered, but he tried not to show them any fear.

“Untie my.” he said, dry and peremptory, talking to Yaotome.

He was expecting him to laugh at his request, or to ignore him.

Instead Hikaru shrugged, pointing at the elder.

“It’s not my decision to make, Chii.” he told him, throwing an evil look at him.

And Chinen understood.

It wasn’t about Hikaru, it wasn’t some perverse game, it wasn’t about the fear he wanted him to have.

It was about Yuya.

Fear suddenly turned to anxiety.

Hating Hikaru would’ve been infinitely easier. He would’ve just needed to add the pain to his wrist and the humiliation he was feeling right now to the bitterness that was already between them, and he would’ve come to despise him.

Yuya...

He couldn’t even think about feeling something like that for him.

“Yuuyan...” he said then, his voice feeble and not confident at all.

“Shut up.” Takaki said, harsh, without letting him go on.

And it seemed to Yuri that he wasn’t bothered by him talking, just that he really didn’t want to listen.

He sighed, and waited for their next move.

He didn’t have to wait long; Hikaru stood up, reaching one of the candles and handing it to Takaki, an eloquent look on his face.

“I’d say is time to start, don’t you think so Yuu?” he told him, the smile still on his face.

Chinen frowned when he heard him call the elder like that, but he kept quiet.

He was more worried about the candle, actually.

He was worried by the look in Yuya’s eyes, he was worried about how he was walking toward him.

Then he saw him tilt the candle over his chest, and he screamed when he felt the hot wax settling on his ribcage.

He tried to hold back the whines, he tried with all his might, while the elder kept leaving trails of wax on his skin.

“Yuu...” he murmured when he caught a break, using on purpose the same nickname Hikaru had. “Yuu, please...” he begged.

He was hating him, of course.

He was hating him, but there was something in his eyes and his behaviour which prevented him from being entirely mad at him.

He wished they would’ve lit the light back on. He wished he could’ve seen past what the flame of the few candles allowed him, he wanted to see Hikaru’s face, understand what he was thinking, what had led them to this.

But he couldn’t.

He could only lie there, pondering, his skin burning.

And, he felt it in his guts, this was only the first step.

To confirm his suspicions, he glimpsed a sudden movement in the darkness and heard Yaotome searching in his bag, then take out something he couldn’t see.

When the elder got closer he saw the vibrator, and held his breath.

Hikaru was staring at him, missing none of the expressions on his face, most likely looking for signs telling him he was scared.

He wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction, while he still managed.

He saw him kneel at the end of the bed and harshly holding his legs open, then without any warning two of Hikaru’s fingers were inside of him.

Chinen bit his lip to the point of drawing blood, but he didn’t make a sound.

He turned to look at Yuya instead, and he saw him frown, watching Hikaru, hesitating.

“Hikka... aren't you hurting him?” he murmured, his voice barely audible.

“Didn’t think the goal was making sweet love to him, Yuuyan.” Yaotome replied, sarcastic, and the eldest of them fell silent.

Yuri couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

Trying to ignore the pain from Hikaru’s fingers still moving inside of him he tried to raise his head, looking at Takaki.

“If you’re not fine with him hurting me, tell him something! Don’t you just stay there doing nothing!” he yelled, his voice trembling out of anger.

He had hoped that Yuya was going to do something, or that he would at least answer.

But he kept quiet, ignoring him as if he hadn’t heard him, or if it didn’t matter anyway.

Chinen was about to add something else, but Yaotome chose that moment to pull his fingers out of him, replacing them with the vibrator.

He turned it on to max speed, but the buzz wasn’t enough to cover the younger’s chocked scream, nor his own laughter.

He left the object inside of him without moving it, then he nodded toward Takaki.

Yuri felt like crying as he felt the sensitive skin inside of him burning, as he tried to ignore the damn buzz, and while Yuya still didn’t rebel, walking toward him slowly but firmly.

He saw him undo his belt, take off his pants and underwear and letting them fall on the ground, while Hikaru behind him rid him of his shirt, leaving him naked in front of Yuri.

Chinen didn’t miss one of his movements. He watched him kneel on the bed, next to him, he watched him inch forward, getting closer; and he was still watching when Yuya grabbed the back of his head a pulled it against his own cock, forcing it inside his mouth.

And Yuri obeyed, because there was nothing he could do to struggle.

He let the elder brush a hand through his hair, holding and pulling, he let him move inside his mouth, against his tongue, almost chocking him.

In the few seconds where he managed to open his eyes, when Yuya slowed down, he saw Hikaru leaning against the wall, his pants long gone, stroking himself at the same pace of Yuri’s mouth on Yuya, his eyes fixated on the elder.

Yuri didn’t know how long it had been; it was still too long. He felt Yuya starting to tremble and the hold on his hair tighten, when Hikaru went behind him and rested his hands on his hips, stopping him.

“It’d be a waste like this, wouldn’t it?” he murmured in Takaki’s ear, and the other man nodded briefly, pulling out of Chinen’s mouth, slowly, as if he really didn’t want to.

He moved to his feet, taking the vibrator out of him, and the younger would’ve felt relieved, hadn’t he been busy trying to breathe.

Yuya settled between his legs, and Chinen felt the tip of his cock brushing his rim, made even more sensitive by the prolonged abuse. He bit his already tortured lips, getting ready for what was going to follow.

And yet, Yuya hesitated.

“Come on, Yuya.” Hikaru told him, impatient. “How long have you been waiting? How long have you desired this? You’ve got your chance on a silver plate, I don’t see why you should hesitate now.” he told him, firm, a cold stare in his eyes.

Takaki frowned, looking Chinen first, defenceless under him, then Hikaru, almost as if he was afraid.

He was breathing too fast, as if he didn’t want to disappoint Yaotome, but at the same time didn’t want to hurt Yuri.

Chinen tried to take advantage of that moment of weakness the best he could, even though he knew how slim his chances were.

“It doesn’t have to be like this, Yuu. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. It’s not... it’s not like this I had imagined this, and neither had you, right?” he said, trying to sound calm, as if he didn’t want to scare him. “Please, Yuya. We can still fix this, we can make this right.” he added, and he almost felt like crying saying that.

He truly wanted to.

He wanted to reconcile the violence in his heart, find that disease Hikaru had planted there and uproot it, pretending that nothing had happened.

He had imagined too many times how it would’ve been to have sex with Yuya the first time.

He _liked_ to imagine that. He liked to wonder how it would’ve been, when it would’ve happened, how he would’ve felt.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

What had he done wrong?

Despite his words, anyway, Yuya didn’t stop.

He thrust inside of him, harsh, almost brutal, as if he wanted to make him shut up.

And Chinen couldn’t find it in himself to hold back anymore.

He screamed off the top of his lungs, he screamed out of frustration, out of pain, he screamed for the pleased look on Hikaru’s face.

He screamed, because right now he felt his boyfriend had been taken away from him, and because he knew he could really hate him now.

So he hated him as he pushed deeper inside of him, as he moaned, unaware of his pain, knowing nothing but his own pleasure. He hated him as he gradually fastened the pace of his thrusts inside his body, turning to look at Hikaru, who had gone back stroking himself, _smiling_ to him, looking for his approval.

Yuri felt his eyes tear up, but he forbade himself to sob.

At least, he owed himself that.

“This wasn’t how I had imagined it.” he murmured, without even expecting the elder to hear him.

“Me neither, Yuri.” Takaki replied instead, his voice broken, as he pushed harder inside of him and came, making an animal-like sound.

He kept still for a few moments, before slipping out of his body.

Chinen kept still, his eyes on Hikaru, waiting.

The elder looked at him with disregard, pulling on Yuya’s arm and bringing his hand around his cock.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t want to dirty myself with your body.” he told him, spiteful, then he closed his eyes and let go to Takaki’s touch, and it didn’t take him long to come as well.

Yuri was tired.

He just wanted to close his eyes and stay in that bed, cry for a while and then fall asleep, wishing to never having to wake up again.

He heard Hikaru get closer and untie the rope, but he didn’t react.

He curled up, feeling filthy, used, betrayed.

He saw them get dressed and he just prayed they were going to be quick.

“Let’s go, Yuya.” he heard Hikaru murmur, while Takaki’s eyes lingered on him.

“I'm sorry, Yuri.” he whispered, more to himself than to the younger, then he let Hikaru drag him out of the room.

Chinen waited to hear the front door close, then he burst out crying.

He cried for Yuya, because Hikaru had taken him away from him, and because he had let him.

He cried, because now Yuya belonged to him, and Yuri didn’t want him back.

There were wounds that weren’t supposed to heal, not even in time.

He had failed.

He had hoped that the love he had given him would’ve proven enough to make him stop, to make him think it was wrong, that there was no reason to do something like that.

Yet, Hikaru’s hold on his mind had been stronger.

Just like the one on his heart.

He wasn’t coming back ever again.

 

~

 

_You’ve gotten what you wanted, haven’t you?_

_Now he listens to all you say, he follows you, he eats out of your hand._

_He’s yours, like you wanted him to be._

_Are you happy, Hikaru?_

_Are you happy to have torn him from someone he loved so much, are you happy to have betrayed him, are you happy about the emptiness in his eyes, about his guilt, about his pain?_

_Was it really worth it?_

~

 

When that night Hikaru went to sleep, he felt even better than he would’ve thought.

He felt no mercy for the thought of Chinen, tied to the bed, naked, violated, hurt.

He felt no mercy for the last look Yuya had thrown him, for the pain in those eyes.

He only remembered that when they had parted he had kissed his lips, and Yuya hadn’t fought it.

Now Takaki Yuya belonged to him, and no one was taking him away, no one was going to reconcile what he had messed in his heart.

It was really worth it.

 

 


End file.
